Growing up, as it was the only thing available for sale in my Mennonite community, I was an avid reader of Archie comics, which is why I thought, while entertaining, comic books in general were actually a government tool used to sterilize America’s youth. Then I discovered an X-Men comic in the gutter someone had carelessly discarded and I realized ‘No, comic books are actually a way for nerdy artists to draw their fantasy women in skin tight vinyl and latex outfits with the proportions of Heidi Montag.
Between Storm’s overflowing cleavage or the golden lasso I want Wonder Woman to tie me up with, comic books are really not much more than Russ Meyer movies drawn onto a page. And that’s why I’m excited by the all-female cast appearing in a new, all-female cast X-Men title from Marvel this April. That’s right, an entire X-Men comic where guys won’t have to stare at a hairy Canadian dude with claws wearing only a tank top or some silly bald guy in a wheelchair hogging valuable page space away from Kitty Pryde walking straight through walls and into my pants.
And the only thing better than a fine-looking hand-drawn woman with mutant powers, is a flesh and blood one. So we take a look back at all the women of X-Men (even the unfortunate movies, you know which ones I’m talking about).