Customs officials at Chicago O’Hare airport seized a bag from Italy containing 18 frozen heads. Yes, human heads. Apparently, they had been flown to Italy to be used in medical research and were being returned to Chicago for cremation. I have several questions. Why does Italy need to import severed heads? Surely they can pick up any number of heads from mafia shootings. And why do we have so many heads to export? Who exactly is profiting off of the the international head trade? Also, where are the bodies? You cremate the head now but what did you do with the rest of uncle Fred? Did I mention that this is all completely legal and that the only reason that customs stopped it is because of some paperwork issue? It seems that hundreds of heads fly in and out of the States every year. So, I can’t bring above a tiny bottle of shampoo on a plane but decapitated heads are OK? I had to take off my shoes before I got on the plane, did they take off their bodies? I need answers!