Mustache Implants Are The New Boob Job

Who Wants A Mustache Ride?
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Middle Eastern men are lining up by the thousands to get mustache transplants. It’s become so popular that some plastic surgeons in Turkey claim to do more mustache transplants than boob jobs, (we do not approve). Why? In the Middle East mustaches are seen as signs of virility and manliness. Many of the region’s leaders like Saddam Hussein or Anwar Sadat sported lip fur. I imagine that not being able to grow a ‘stache in the Middle East might be seen as embarrassing or even shameful. What if all you can manage is a thin and pathetic white trash ‘stache? The implants work much like hair plugs. The doctor takes hair from an area where you are hairy and embeds the follicles above your upper lip. I bet hairless hipsters from Williamsburg/Austin/Portland/Silver Lake will be flying to Turkey to get the full Magnum P.I.