How the Hell Did An Octopus Half the Size of a Testicle Make it Into the ‘Most Dangerous Animals in the World’ List? Holy Balls, This is How

The Blue Ringed Octopus
Behold the weirdest things that will ever utterly murder-ize you.

List25‘s accumulation of The 25 Most Dangerous Animals In The World is a rather pedestrian affair for the most part. There was no question that the lion, leopard, Black Mamba and other renegade badasses from the Devil’s sweaty undercarriage would feature, after all. Similarly-notorious ocean-dwellers (the Great White Shark, that asshole jellyfish from Australia with a proclivity for penetrating unwitting revelers’ bollock-bulge Speedos and administering a hefty dose of venomously poisonous painful venom-pain to the scrote, all those wacky funsters) are here too. It is, in summation, a deft little checklist of nature’s biggest bastards.

As such, you’ll be mildly befuddled to hear that the craptacular buffalo is also on the list. What the shit, you shriek in your eternal chagrin, buffalo? Those hairy-assed cow things? They’re about as fearsome as my incontinent grandma. And she’s dead. You are mistaken,hypothetic dudely dude! In the gallery, for your delectation, we’ve assembled/elucidated upon four of the most peculiar choices. Heed our wisdom, and learn why striding through Jurassic Park sans pants with a roast chicken tied to your dick would be less a less precarious predicament than an outbreak of tiny Tsetse flies.

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