Mm egotastic skin leftgutter now 7500079552fde38585a14698b1335a962763ce139a88c716bd75077d8ef1dfe9B10201932
Mm egotastic skin rightgutter now 15aa6ad2b9777a21e24b9820d83d4ba8b05893319b1c9664f32b1f413b4acdb9B10201932

Hanky Dipped In Louis XVI's Blood As A Souvenir?

A 200 year old bloody hanky turns out to be soaked in king Louis XVI's blood. The enlightenment era snot rag was stuffed in a gourd painted with scenes from the French Revolution and the words, "On January 21, Maximilien Bourdaloue dipped his handkerchief in the blood of Louis XVI after his decapitation." When they chopped off the king's head for being a fat rich bastard, his headless stump shot out all 8 pints of his blue blood on the guillotine scaffold. The angry peasants dipped pieces of cloth in the blood and kept them as souvenirs. French scientists analyzed the blood and compared it to both unlucky Louis' ancestors and descendants and found that it is indeed the dead king's blood. I didn't realize is that people kept souvenirs from bloody revolutions. I guess it makes sense as there probably wasn't a decent Reign of Terror gift shop. A one stop shop where you can get guillotine pencil sharpeners and aristocrat fingers. All revolutions should have one. If we'd had one in the early 18th century some lucky patron could have hung George Washington's wooden teeth from his carriage rear-view mirror. My Cuban grandfather should have totally swiped Fidel Castro's beard in 1959. Imagine what I could sell that for on Craigslist!

Tagged in: Humor


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