Britney Spears Splits With Fiance; We Sing a Duet to Symbolize the Future Coupling of Our Bodies

Okay, all great things must come to an end, including almost-marriages to your former agent and conservator of your estate after you’ve gone mental. Such it is that our friends at TMZ are reporting today that Britney Spears has broken up with her fiance Jason Trawick, the two who became close during Britney’s 5150 days, and now, are going their separate ways.

Now, you may remember that I’ve been very much in love with Britney since even before we all saw her vagina, so it’s no surprise that Britney herself turns to me in her time of need for a little bang-bang-plow-plow in the back of her Plymouth while we jointly consume a 50-piece McNugget pack with the only sauce being the very product of our conjugal love. Actually tastes like of like the Honey Mustard.

Hit me baby one more time.

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