We Nominate Melissa Debling to Wet Nurse The New Royal Baby! (Kate Middleton’s Milkshakes May Not Cut It)

 

Look, it’s time to get serious. All kidding and joking aside, there’s about to be a baby, a royal baby, the future king or queen of the British Empire, and that baby’s going to need some solid foundation, a healthy headstart toward lionheartedness and valor, meaning, some ginormous milky funbags to suckle in the first months, if not years, of his or her life. And, well, as much as we truly dig Kate Middleton, we have seen those chest puppies in the bare now, and these may be better suited for nourishing actually puppies. A future monarch will need massive milky sustenance, some seriously mammarial milkshakes of magnificent proportions. We nominate Melissa Debling.

Melissa’s chest buoys could raise a small army; just imagine the endless supply of creamy goodness happily imbibed by the future ruler of the land. Oh, I am imagining it right now, and I am quite jealous.

Join us in our campaign to get sextastic model Melissa Debling to be the royal wet nurse. The very future of the Empire may be in the balance!