The Gamer Guy’s Alphabet: Z is for ZOMBIES- The Moldy-Crotched Curse of Gaming

The final installment, as dramatic denouements go, is rather generic. We would shave our mansacks with a machete (blindfolded) as penitence, but we cannot be blamed. The perpetrator here is the shit-tacular letter Z. Other options included zeolithic, zoogleae, zacaton and zeugma. As such, you’ll excuse us opting for the plain choice in lieu of something that sounds like a swear a Polish man would emit on catching his bollocks in the fly of his pants, or perhaps the distressed cry of a constipated Martian straining for a shit.

What in the name of Satan’s sweaty scrotum does zoogleae mean? No bastard knows. Conversely, it’s safe to venture that we’re all familiar with zombies. The festering fiends began their span in video games as legitimate bastions of horror (even in Nineties cataract-blur-o-vision, those featured in the original Resident Evil still succeeded in liberating crap from colons worldwide), and repeated the feat in the Gamecube’s REmake almost a decade later. More contemporary zombies -not in the sense of cruising the streets with their hipster clothes and an iPad in their rotting, shit-stained hands, although that would be cool- are a rather different beast. Hit the gallery for a few of our favorite renditions of the face-chewing undead.

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