Ever since Pierce Brosnan uttered the immortal ‘I thought Chrimstas only comes once a year’ line while plugging Denise Richards‘ Christmas Jones with the Walther PPK he keeps below his belt in The World is Not Enough, I’ve come to find new meaning in the holiday season. Before it meant nothing more than drinking highly-spiked egg nog and putting Love, Actually on while I feel up my girlfriend (over the bra, of course). But since then, I’ve been able to celebrate Xmas on a whole new level.
Whereas I used to only appreciate the good and cheerful movies this time of year, now I’m able to revel in everything bloody, fiery and sexual that mixes the arrival of St. Nick with a hard R-rating. Sure, my young nieces and nephews usually leave my house after Christmas dinner crying and with soiled pants, but they’ll thank me the next time someone quotes ‘I’m getting too old for this shit’ in front of them and they know exactly what movie the reference is from.
So this merry season, maybe if you’ve been nice, but especially if you’ve been naughty, you’ll find the Ten Best Feel-Bad Christmas Movies stuffed down your stocking.