Mm egotastic skin leftgutter now 7500079552fde38585a14698b1335a962763ce139a88c716bd75077d8ef1dfe9B10201932
Mm egotastic skin rightgutter now 15aa6ad2b9777a21e24b9820d83d4ba8b05893319b1c9664f32b1f413b4acdb9B10201932

Kate Middleton Pregnant! St. James Palace Issues Announcement, As Does Bill Swift, Editor of Egotastic!

Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to announce that The Duchess of Cambridge is expecting a baby.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

From the Desk of Bill Swift, Editor, and

To Whom It May Concern:

While media reports continue to circulate surrounding potential paternity of the newly announced pregnancy of Kate Middleton, I must strongly and completely almost kind of maybe deny any involvement in the production of the heir to the Windsor Royal Family.

While I will not deny talks earlier this Spring regarding the potential assist of my highly potent spermatozoa for exploiration by the Duchess of Cambridge as her marital coupling with Prince William continued to produce no child month after month, nor will I deny being on the English Isle during the late summer and early fall of this year consuming nothing but oysters and mango-yohimbe root smoothies for two weeks straight, nor can I deny semi-frequent private meetings between the Duchess and myself for late evening kinky lingerie personal modeling sessions, nor will I go on record as denying that I know how babies are made and have practiced their production since the age of seventeen, fifteen if you count a 'tip' dare at computer camp with Lisa Espinoza, but, on this especially joyous day for The Royal Family and the Kingdom of Great Britain, I have nothing further to say, oh, other than you won't find any stains ON Kate Middleton's blue dress she wore on or about August 28.

Any additional questions regarding the absolutely almost entirely false assertion that I may have just singlehandedly, actually, no-handedly (but I like to show off), saved the Windsor Family line, should be directed toward my attorney at

Thank you for your time.

Tagged in: Photos, Kate Middleton


Around the Web