It’s actual gaming knowledge fact that us dudely dudes constitute the vast majority of vocal, self-dubbed gamers. This is not to say that the virtual world is a no beard, no ballsack, no bueno zone; there are many lady-types that shoot, eviscerate, race and kick groins on their TVs. Rightly so. Regardless, when the internet message board nerdsassins gather en masse (perhaps to plot a midnight excursion to shit on the office doorstep of whichever developer’s shenanigans have enraged them today), there will often be nary a woman among them.
The most vocal entity garners the most attention. As such, video games primarily strive to cater to us, gentlemen. Hollywood theatrics are rampant; protagonists cannot go to the bathroom for a shit without the thunderous discord of gunfire and an exploding motor vehicle or two disturbing them mid-dump. In the midst of this shitstorm, there’s no room for Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan to have mail; nor for Hugh Grant to dick around and get into all kinds of ‘hilarious’ romantic ‘comedy’ scenarios.
This week, then, we’re scrutinizing games we can enjoy with our other halves, a remarkable harmonious existence just like the hippies of the sixties promised. Body odor and never shaving your pubes ever optional.