The Gamer Guy’s Alphabet: S is for SAGA- The Crazy Tales of Our Favorite Franchises

In the video game milieu, plotting is an indiscriminate business. Oftentimes, you will find developers, writers and creative directors that strive to produce -over the course of a franchise- a convoluted shitstorm of a narrative; as Happy Mondays melon-twisting as watching Inception with the sound off. Whilst pissed. And high. And receiving the kind of crotch-attention that renders one unable to absorb the more complex nuances of a multifaceted narrative (“Get off my penis! Will Marty McFly get it on with his sexy teenage mother? I MUST KNOW!).

Conversely, though, others prefer a minimalist approach. In the case of the retrotastic Metal Slug, are we overly concerned with the pernickety details of the rebel army’s shenanigans (they kicked Little Johnny’s hamster in the face? The massive bastards!)? We are not. We simply wish to hear that preposterously gleeful voice announce heavy machine gun and shoot many, many ballaches in the crotch with it. In clandestine meetings in Nintendo’s HQ, do the story-crafting sessions amount to more than ‘rescue Peach from that big green wanker again’, hastily scrawled on a single sheet of shit-stained toilet paper? They don’t, and they needn’t.

Above, for your delectation, is an array of plotting lunacy from Metal Gear Solid, Resident Evil, Gears of War and more.

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