In Bizarro World, Justin Bieber and Other Craptastic ‘Artists’ are Creating Grand Theft Auto V’s Soundtrack. Be Afraid

Justin Bellend/Bieber
This is what peculiar-yet-hilarious nightmares look like.

In the Grand Theft Auto franchise, there’s wonderful scope to be the kind of malevolent miscreant you always wanted to be. Shooting prostitutes in the mansack (assuming you neglected to check for such before engaging in the sexy-sex. Which could happen to anyone, as it has to us. Fifteen times), firing rocket-propelled grenades into the exhaust pipes of squad cars… an array of nefarious activities that our tediously moral world will oftentimes frown upon.

Conversely, you could opt for the benevolent route, whiling away the hours as a legitimate fare-gathering taxi driver. Nobody has ever done this, we’ll concede, but it remains a possibility. Option #2 affords us the opportunity to revel in the myriad radio stations that Rockstar outfit their vehicles with. Beyond the musical delights therein, we can also enjoy comedic commercials for ‘Orgasmo-bars’ and other adult humor for our delectation.

As a salutation to the impending gaming colossus that is Grand Theft Auto V, and because there’s never an inopportune moment to raise the middle finger of mockery at these bastards, hit the gallery. What in the name of Satan’s fetid foreskin are Rick Astley and Spandau Ballet doing in Grand Theft Auto? The answer lies within.

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