Not, we’ll concede, all three simultaneously. As the ancient adage states, though, two out of three isn’t bad. As such, heed the peculiar tale of Mii Aihara, a 'military idol’ from the Land of the Rising Wang. Her raunchy resume appears to consist of such vital life skills as firing high-powered ballistic weaponry in an array of panty shot-amundo outfits for the delectation of the ogling gentlemen of the world. It’s as righteous a cause as any, as the gonads of gun-nuts everywhere will surely attest.
Details of Miss Aihara’s scantily-clad shenanigans await in the gallery. As do the ghastly consequences of attempting a real-life Mario Kart race. (Spoiler: It’s something akin to, “Hey, ma! Why is my leg pointing that way now? Damn, that smarts! Where are the band-aids?”)
To complete the copious crop of crazy, one man -who has clearly put rather too much thought into such things- endeavors to convince us that Pac-Man is a living embodiment of the bastardry of our consumerist culture. And not, say, merely a craptacular archaic slice of retro terrible from the devil’s bollocks.
IGN's 'Reading Too Much Into Video Games' can be perused here.