As you know, we have committed to someday becoming TSA screening agents, preferably at LAX or Miami airports, and preferably in the NFC line, and or the one marked for Sextastic Celebrities Only.
What a wonderful chance to legally X-ray, examine, paw, and otherwise body cavity search every single one of the most ridiculously hot celebrities who once a year to thrice a week pass through your groping gloved hands. Models like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who you get to order to take off her outerwear and raise her arms for your clothes-less virtual examinations. The chance of Rosie requiring a physical pat-down coming through my line I’d have to put at 100%.
Grab me the Vaseline and the mini-flashlight, I’m going in to wonderfully uncharted territories, for national security purposes, natch. Enjoy.