...or are you just pleased to see my leg-iliciously provocative panty-capers? Yes it is, and yes we are. The inaugural appearance of the Wii brought motion-controlling wonderment to the forefront of our confounded video game minds. Back in the Stone Age (circa... 2006 for the historically-challenged), the Wii was quite the revelation. To a one, mankind greeted their first remote-flailing experience of Wii Sports with all the stupefaction of whichever Neanderthal it was that discovered fire (whereupon he presumably set his great hairy bollocks aflame. “It’s red and orange and hurty,” this intrepid innovator proclaimed later, running his ballsack under the cold tap that he didn’t have).
Such ‘I swing my actual arm... and he brandishes a sword in a similar fashion inside that there telly-box! Shit in my grandmother’s mouth!’ awe was quickly curtailed by gimmickry, enough shit-tastic minigame compilations to choke a school of whales and other shoehorned shenanigans. Nonetheless, the Wii has retained its status as the merrily cackling, middle-finger raising (in a family-friendly fashion, naturellement) victor of the seventh console generation. This can be attributed solely to the trouser-troubling delights of women indulging in Wii Fit and suchlike in their skimpies.
It shouldn’t be, we’ll concede, but it can be. Loosen your pants and take a look above.