Tool Using Dolphins May Replace Us

Dolphins have apparently developed the ability to use tools. Bottleneck dolphins, that live in the waters of the awesomely named Shark Bay in Australia, have learned over the last 200 years to pick and use sponges. Not to clean dirty dishes, that would be ridiculous. No, they use them to protect their noses from sharp rocks and shells on the sea floor. Scientists are really interested in this as it’s an evolutionary breakthrough. We humans are 98% identical to chimps. The only reason that we are ruling the world and not Bonzo is that we developed opposable thumbs and the ability to use tools. As humans are all about to be wiped out, (Check my “Dispatches from the Apocalypse” for more info), who is going to take our place? I always figured it would be a Planet of the Apes world but maybe dolphins will rule. Perhaps they will build vast underwater cities and conquer the land wearing water filled space suits? Maybe there will be an ape/dolphin future war? I’d like to see that. But we’ll all be dead.

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