The Germans have given us some pretty crummy things over the years: World War One, World War Two, David Hasselhoff fans…So it’s about time they had a good idea for once, one that didn’t involve mass genocide, giant walls or even 99 red balloons. Well, they’ve finally done it, and they’ve truly outdone themselves.
The German spirits company G-Spirits, determined to give their customers the most elegant and erotic in drinking experiences is now offering a limited-edition run of liquor that’s first poured over a woman’s breasts before being bottled.
For only $170 you can get a bottle of whiskey that’s been poured down the funbags of Alexa Varga, the 2012 Miss Hungary winner. And just incase you think you’re being scammed, a photo of the model appears with the bottle when it arrives. Now, if $170 is a little too pricey for you young drinkers out there, I’d hope a $20 bottle is also available after having been poured across over your high school chemistry teacher with bad psoriasis. Or I could just spend $10 to drink a shot from the belly of the stripper who works the tuesday afternoon shift down at Electric Kitty Kat’s down by the freeway underpass.
Here’s my problem with this business model–I drink bottles of alcohol at home because I can’t get any girls in my life. So I’m depressed enough as is. So then why would I want to spend all that money on drinking something that’s had closer contact with a member of the opposite sex than I have? The thought alone makes me want to drink. It’s a vicious cycle.