Heidi Klum Has a Rainbow Party In Her Mouth; Oh, Mommy!

It’s weird, but ever since Heidi Klum split from Seal and started banging her bodyguard we’ve kind of fallen more deeply in lust with the German hottie and business woman powerhouse. I mean, let’s be honest, a hot mom who starts knocking boots with the help — that’s the very source of 32% of all our adult-rated daydreams, not to mention quite possibly our only chance of ever hooking up with the likes of a world-class supermodel.

Now, throw in the wide-mouthed multi-colored Missile Pops® sucking, and, well, don’t be surprised if her entire male staff isn’t watching and wondering when it will be their turn at bat with the mistress of the house. Personally, I’m trying to get a job as her gardener as we speak. ‘Oh, yes, Ms. Klum, I would love to come inside for some lemonade.’ And, enjoy.

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