It used to be that the Super Bowl halftime show would include a number of the hottest performers in show business performing a mash-up of as many hits as possible, but ever since Nipple-gate the league has leaned towards geriatric performers like the Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, Prince, Tom Petty, Bruce Springsteen, Madonna–you know, people that no one would want to see naked.
Finally the NFL is breaking out of the senior circuit and invited someone who will be having a lot of us hoping for a wardrobe malfunction in Beyonce.
You’d think the league wouldn’t want to risk the 31-year old incredibly hot performer making a flub like Miss Jackson (because I’m nasty), but they probably couldn’t resist once they heard one of her more popular songs (because you know it was the first time a bunch of old white guys ever listened to Beyonce), ‘Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It).’
Feel free to insert your own cliche/joke here.
That got me thinking (yes, dangerous; I know). What if other events, teams, people, etc. in the NFL had theme music or background music (you know we are going to here that song in Super Bowl commercials this year)? After all, that’s what makes some of the best football movies great, right?
Just imagine Coach Boone in Remember the Titans giving a pregame speech without the inspirational music in the background? You can’t!
Should the NFL want to run with this idea here are a few simple thoughts to help them get started:
- For the New Orleans Saints accused of being involved in Bounty-Gate: Shaggy’s ‘It wasn’t me!’
- Commissioner Roger Goodell: Snap’s ‘I’ve got the power! ‘
- Those greedy NFL owners that forced us to watch replacement referees the first few weeks: P. Diddy’s ‘It’s all about the Benjamins!‘
- The replacement referees: Weird Al Yankovic’s ‘Dare to be stupid’ or ‘Whistle’ by Flo Rida.
- Arizona Cardinals QB Kevin Kolb: Pat Benetar’s ‘Hit me with your best shot.’
- Philadelphia Eagles QB Michael Vick: Bon Jovi’s Slippery When Wet (yea, he gets a whole album)
- Free agent wide receiver Terrell Owens: Carly Rae Jepson‘s ‘Call me maybe.’
- Jacksonville whenever they think of their offense: Rihanna’s ‘Where have you been?’
- With the way the Dallas Cowboys are playing: Lee Brice’s ‘Hard to love.’
- The NFL in regards to Terrell Owens, Plaxico Burress, and Chad Johnson: Taylor Swift’s ‘We are never getting back together.’