Here’s what I’ll say about the state of our affair with the regal sister, Pippa Middleton — we still wouldn’t throw her out of our royal chambers. But we do have to admit our lust for the world’s most famous sibling of just a year and a half ago has sort of waned since our almost overwhelming desire to spank her bare bottom with authority. It’s been that kind of long distance romance.
I think Pippa herself withdrew from the spotlight, maybe knowing that our need to produce children with her sister Kate was a far greater priority to the health of the realm, but we’ve seen little of her, so it was a pleasant surprise when she and her thigh-revealing slit-skirt made their way to the shores of The Colonies to take in the games of the U.S. Open. Sometimes, a little leg is all it takes; we don’t ask for much. Enjoy.