Can’t Get it Up? These Brazilian Spiders’ Venom Might Help You Out

Of course you can get it up if you're still in your twenties or thirties (unless something's horribly, horribly wrong.) But when you reach that age, y'know, in your late sixties, and you begin noticing that the junk down there don't work like it used to anymore, then maybe it's time to start popping those little blue pills that Hugh Hefner seems to love so much.

Who knows? They might already be injected with venom from the Brazilian wandering spider (or more appropriately, the banana spider). That's because researcher from the Medical College of Georgia recently discovered that the venom from these spiders can lead to up to four hours of pleasure! Of course, it could also lead to severe pain and breathing problems (and even death) if left untreated.

But when administered in small doses, the toxin can actually bring on an erection. It's too risky to do human testing, but they did it to rats that had erectile dysfunction (yes, rats! Who knew some of them have trouble in this area too?) and those rats reportedly got prolonged erections. Sounds crazy, I know.

We found the toxin responsible [for the erections], and performed experiments using hypertensive rats which have severe erectile dysfunction. The toxin was able to normalize the erectile dysfunction in these animals.

-- Dr. Kenia Nunes

Before you start worshiping the ground these spiders walk on, keep your distance because they were actually named as the world's most venomous spider by the Guinness World Records last year.