The Taiwanese government wants men to sit down to pee. The reason? Because it is more hygienic. Stephen Shen, Taiwan’s EPA minister proposed putting signs in public bathrooms urging men to sit down to do their business like the ladies do. He says it will lead to a cleaner environment. The practice is already popular in Japan. But then again, so is tentacle porn. Now, I agree that men’s rooms are generally disgusting. Everything is smelly and wet and there is often pee on the toilet seat. And yet I can’t help thinking that it is the fundamental right of all men to pee standing up.
Evolution designed the human penis as the perfect waste disposal hose. Just point and shoot. Because we are bipedal, gravity does most of the work. We are built to pee standing up. It’s one of the things that makes men unique from women. We can pee in bottles at a stoplight and write our names in the snow without using our hands. Would you rob us of this, Mr. Shen? It strikes me as unnatural and fascistic that a government tells me how to pee. Instead of putting up signs telling men to sit down, they should have signs that say “Aim Better, A-hole” or “If You Hit The Center You Get A 100 Points” or something. This is why I’m glad I live in America. As imperfect as our system is, no politician is going to watch me pee…unless they are a little strange.