It’s Now Illegal to Tell a Man He Has ‘No Balls’ In Italy. Time to Cancel My Travel Plans

In what can only be described as a nut shot to free speech, an Italian court ruled that accusing a man he has ‘no balls’ is now an offense punishable with a fine. The court decided that slandering a man’s masculine prowess or machismo can be detrimental to one’s reputation. While it still isn’t legal for you to walk over, slap the man across the face and demand satisfaction with a quick rapier duel outside in retribution, apparently you can score some fast cash out of it.

Now I’ve never taken offense when someone told me I had no balls–probably because I don’t (lost them both in a smelting accident back in ’94)–but I could see how now guy really wants to hear that. Especially if there’s a girl around. Because then he has no choice but to whip them out to prove he’s not a coward. But there are far worse things you could tell a guy to bruise his ego than that he has ‘no balls.’ And they are:

5. ‘My little sister has better dexterity with a Wii controller than you.’

4. ‘Nice jeans. Did you steal them from my mom’s laundry?’

3. ‘Did your shirt come with those yellow stains under your armpits, or do you just sweat like a pig?’

2. ‘Your Spotify account called me and asked if it could please have my taste in music instead.’

1. ‘Tell your mom thanks for the friend request.’

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