The British Release UFO Files. No Sign Of Dr. Who.

Congratulations insane conspiracy theorists, the government is hiding information about UFO’s. Or, I should say, they were hiding it, at least in Great Britain. Her majesty’s government released thousands of documents today that describe over 50 years of studying not only if UFO’s existed, but also the possible sociological, military, and environmental impact such a revelation would have. One General even thought that they could weaponize alien tech, ‘They have a very wide range of speeds and are stealthy. I suggest we could use this technology, if it exists.’ If the British built a UFO it would be like the Jaguar: pretty but it would hardly ever works.

It might make some Englishmen drop their tea cups in shock that their government would spend so much money investigating something that probably doesn’t exist. It isn’t that surprising when you consider how much of their tax dollars are spent buying shiny diamond hats for an old woman who lives in a castle. I’m sure we’re no different here in the U.S. There might be a secret lab somewhere that holds alien remains and the truth about how Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith saved the Earth. Only we’re smart enough to keep that stuff a secret. Why can’t the British be more like us and just kill any redneck that gets too close to the fence?

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