The Dark Knight Rises is primed to take a disparaging dump from a lofty height upon the festering deluge of romantic comedies (invariably featuring the wanton buffoonery and/or capering of Tom Hanks or similar tedious ballache) and other cinematic wankery that has insidiously corrupted the medium of late. The situation was akin to the concealed medical waste on the beach that lies unheeded, until you run afoul of a hypodermic needle that sticks in your ass and gives you herpes or something ghastly. Into this melancholy movie melange strides Batman himself (“DO NOT FEAR SHITTY FILMS, MY BRETHREN,” he entreats, in his quintessential Christian Bale fifty cigarettes-a-day tracheotomy Bat-growl, “THIS IS GOING TO BE MAGNIFICENT. CONTRARY TO SEVERAL SUCH ADAPTIONS I COULD MENTION. THE ODIOUS TURD THAT WAS DAREDEVIL, FOR INSTANCE. THAT WAS SUCH AN AFFRONT TO THE SENSES, I PISSED MYSELF IN THE THEATER SEAT IN PROTEST. IT WASN’T INCONTINENCE AT ALL, DAMN NEWSPAPERS AND THEIR SENSATIONALIST BULLSHIT.”), leaving fans worldwide awaiting a worthy sequel to the much-lauded The Dark Knight.
As anticipation, trepidation and an assortment of other pertinent ‘ations’ beleaguer movie-goers worldwide, we turn to the clandestine crusader’s influence upon video games. From starring roles to cameo appearances, his digital dalliances have been wonderful, peculiar, or indeed wonderfully peculiar. Hit the must-see gallery above for our salutation to Bruce. There are some selections of the nuttiest of his gaming shenanigans for your delectation, bolstered by a wanton dose of piss-taking.