Paris Hilton Beats Up a Paparazzi, Falls Down, Flashes Her Panties — So, Normal Evening

The thing about being Billionaire Barbie, is that in addition to your special powers of being able to hide large quantities of illicit substances in your bodily cavities, the imbibing of large quantities of booze gives you superhuman strength enough to assault a paparazzi following you out of the club late at night (read as, in the morning). Quite some powers.

Now, we have zero sympathy in general for the loser dudes who file lawsuits against celebrities who take weak swings at them because they want cameras out of their faces, especially when those celebs are girls, like Justin Bieber, or, in this case, Billionaire Barbie. She probably clocks in at 130 lbs and hasn’t likely eaten in three weeks. She simply can’t have much power behind her right cross. Not to mention, her right cross was mostly planted on the ground trying to keep her butt off the floor after stumbling to the ground and flashing her entire under-carriage and some shockingly boring panties.

All in the day (or night) of the life of Billionaire Barbie. Though you’ll never see this particular playset on the shelf at Toys ‘R Us. Enjoy.

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