Oh, the Kinds of Sex Scandals I’d Like to Do to Kate Middleton’s Blue Dress

I’m not sure if it’s her power or her privilege or her new regal bloodline, but I can’t shake the desire to do the job that Prince Bill seems to be putting off or off-putting or simply not fulfilling with Kate Middleton and extend the House of Windsor well into the 22nd century.

With a combination of blind lust and a couple cans of Four-Loko, I’m pretty sure I could produce a dozen or so male heirs to the throne with the current Duchess of Cambridge without really even needing to remove the blue dress she wore to the National Gallery in London yesterday.

Call me, Kate. Use one of the phones that Murdoch isn’t tapping, and let’s talk Victorian dirty.

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