Horses Are To Blame For Pants

I read this article the other day on why we human men wear pants. Apparently, it has something to do with riding horses. Before men domesticated the the horse, everyone wore skirts or robes. A man could walk down the streets and let his business hang low and free. Even Jesus wore a skirt. But when it came time to ride horses, for obvious reasons, you need pants. No one wants horse burn on your naked thighs.

I hate pants. Don’t you? Especially now in the summer time? What man amongst us wouldn’t rather be wearing shorts or sitting on the couch drinking beer in our underwear? I say that we as a society decide that we are going to free ourselves from the tyranny of pants. I’ve ridden a horse maybe twice in my life, so I could give crap what the best garb to ride the smelly beasts are. I mostly ride around in a subway in New York, so I could use a nice long skirt that repels any gross liquids I might come into contact with. Break the shackles boys, we have nothing to lose but our pants!