Now this certainly does look like actual sex for the eyes and ears. (I advise due caution when engaging in ear sex, incidentally. A filthy business for all concerned. Keep a towel handy.) If you’ll indulge the most fleeting pattering of historical geek-ery, the Wars of the Roses was a series of civil wars between two English families, Lancaster and York, both of whom had some claim or other to the throne. (Notorious cheap-ass Henry Tudor eventually won the crown. Only to shit his bizarre 16th century pants in his grave as his son Henry VIII frittered away his Scrooge-misered monies. The wife-market is an extravagant place indeed, not to mention the gut-buster banquets the fat bastard held every fifteen minutes.)
But I digress. You came here to see a wonderful-looking Total War-esque strategy title for the PC. Consider yourself indulged.
From the brief coup d'oeil above, it seems that a magnificent new entry in the genre could be in the works. The combat appears more visceral than The Creative Assembly’s exemplary efforts, with hints of the blood-bleeding wounds (the horror! Avert your eyes, my brethren!) that were completely expunged from the Total War series. We are assured that the above is ‘in-game footage!’ by a message with all the zeal of a small child brandishing a fingerpainting with undue pride (“It looks nothing like me! Come on, Timmy, I know you’re three years old but sloppy work is sloppy work. For shame. No lunch for you. Now wash my car.”) and as such I’m eagerly awaiting more details. Could this be simply the battle map, sustained by all the trappings of a unit-flailing campaign?
Stick with our E3 coverage, as the curtain rises at the show, to find out.