If Canada did not exist, the U.S. would have to invent Canada to make it look better by comparison. I'm sorry, Canada, but somehow you've managed to out-cheese even the cheesiest of American music award shows with your MuchMusic Video Awards that was more like the circus of the teen-nerd bizarre than anything related to anything the least bit auditory-respectable. Of course, Justin Bieber highlighted the show in his native land and all we can say is, he looks more stupid than he ever has before -- that is a monumental achievement.
But, some of the sole good news, with the Devil's Midget coms Selena Gomez, our belusted little Latina hottie, who shone brightly on the otherwise mostly goof-ball filled red carpet. And shine she did. I only wish that our magic spells would work and we could whisk her away from all the nonsense and her silly little teen lesbian boyfriend and just get her to our private bungalow at the Comfort Suites, where we could spend a weekend entirely nekkid in the showers scrubbing the Bieber off of her. Enjoy.