Oh, Maria Menounos, how I’d love to be your personal dresser each morning, helping you shimmy your amazing body into those tight clothes snug against your perfect Grecian form. I’d pay for the privilege. And I do iron.
The sextastic Extra hostess was strutting around Hollywood in what can only be described as my new favorite orange dress, flattering every remarkable curve on her body, and reminding me that it’s time for me to sculpt another full-figured nude of Maria out of cheese in my living room, as the last one was forcibly removed by my landlord after the neighbors complained of the stank. But there’s nothing stanky about my lust for Maria, or that dress, preferably peeled off of her immediately. Just so hot. Enjoy.