There Are Two Things You Can Not Take Away from Lindsay Lohan (and They Were on Display on Melrose Ave)

With all of our foreboding forecasts of what is to become of Lindsay Lohan, what with all her long-standing personal troubles and her circle of friends that looks like a semi-literate, cock-snorting version of the Algonquin Roundtable, well, we’d like to remind ourselves of the various reasons we first fell deep into lust with this original ginger crush, and two of these reasons were on decent display yesterday amid the stores on trendy Melrose Avenue.

You can put the woman through life’s grinder, you can ring her up and hand-wring her down, you can give her parents who lie somewhere on the spectrum of celebrity family dysfunctionality between The Caulkins and The Manson Family, but you can not take away those big ripe knockers. This is the gift that keeps on giving to us oglers. Enjoy.

P.S. If you’ve not seen Lindsay getting goth in her darkly erotic Muse magazine video, you really must see it, by director Yu Tsai, like a testament to visions of Lindsay future:

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