The zombacalypse has arrived and don't say we didn't warn you. We previously published our survival guide for the day the dead rise from their graves. Now, my friends, that day has come. Memorial Day weekend 2012 will forever be known as Z Day. For some reason, I always knew it would start in Miami. It's a city known for being superficial and obsessed with flesh. Everyone there gets face lifts and,in one poor dude's case, that's what literally happened.
A man by the name of Rudy Eugene is patient zero. He was shot by police on May 27 after he was found chewing off another man's face! He was also naked, (why do zombies need clothes?). People who knew him said he was unstable and living on the streets. He may also have been using bath salts. No, not the fizzy bath pellets you buy at The Body Shop, it's a potent form of amphetamine. Maybe the bath salts are the trigger that starts the zombification? Maybe he came into contact with the virus on the streets? Or maybe he is just a schizo high on speed? I don't know. What I do know beloved readers is that you need to arm yourselves, stay away from anyone acting sick, and most of all...stay alive.
Article By Jack Tomas