There will be no Justin Bieber flashing pre-approved gang signs this year.
No Jonas Brothers all pretending to be straight.
No Ashton Kutcher fawning to be America’s lovable sweetheart.
No awards for not so good movies that came out over a year ago that you barely remember but they share parent companies with MTV.
And no pimping to vomitorious degrees of their inane programming.
MTV has barred the doors shut on Egotastic! and denied us entry to their magical kingdom of drunk violent pregnant teens and drunk violent pregnant early 20-somethings and drunk violent…well you get the idea. Once the ‘M’ stopped standing for “Music’ it was like taking gambling out of Vegas. Oh, man, how they’d scramble to put some crap together to keep people coming, something, anything.
But, apparently, we are too scary for the craptastic network and they did not approve of our 2011 coverage of the award show.
We sally forth, with the good news that will have more time to cover E3 this year in Los Angeles, because gamers don’t have swagger coaches or need auto-tuning. It’s all good.