My jai alai gambling partner Delmon Carp came crying to me the other night because his girl had made him go revisit Titanic in three dimensions. He was shaken, as a man, to what was left of his man-soul. As I held him to my bosom in a manner that brought shame to us both, I couldn't help but think about the millions of other Delmons out there just awaiting their painful three hour tour with this romantic blockbuster.
So, if I may, let me try an ounce of prevention, courtesy of the only best moments of the film, sneak peeked for those who've not seen before -- Kate Winslet topless. Yes, it was the monumental moment in the monumental film. It was like the opposite of running into an iceberg, it was like entering a warm, inviting place.
Kate Winslet has never received the recognition she deserves for this role, specifically, this ten seconds of her role, and all the subsequent nekkidness she has brought to the silver screen since. Enjoy.