As you know, I am set to become the adopted son of Michelle Hunziker any day now, but since I still have some doubts as to whether or not she’ll fully sign the adult son adoption papers, I’d be foolish to give up my backup moms plan. Included in my sweet hot MILFtastic Plan B are, of course, Stephanie Seymour, because I’ve seen how kindly she can be to her sons, and, Heidi Klum, the newly single hot German model mega-businesswoman mom who showed off her potential cougar chops with a sideboob baring dress at the DKMS Gala last night in N.Y.C.
Heidi is tall, hot, blonde, wealthy, and she already has like a gaggle of kids — she’d barely even notice me joining the brood, save for wondering why I’m the one kid climbing into her bed each night telling her I had a bad dream. That is my good dream. Enjoy.