The Egotastic! Council of Elders met last night in its secret chambers, the backroom of the local Falafel King, where it reviewed evidence and heard arguments as to the question of whether Maria Menounos was simply so hot, that she would reverse a previous faptastic fatwah on the viewing of the television program Dancing with the Stars, which has routinely dismissed and disrespected its scant number of relatively sexy celebrities for the disturbing idolization of the likes of Chaz Bono and Nancy Grace.
Among the exhibits put into evidence were these very last minute candid shots of Maria Menounos heading into her DWTS dance practice, and, well, to be honest, the Council had to recess for some individual private time in the Falafel King’s mens room, indicating to any reasonably experienced Council follower that the judgement has pretty much already been decided.
You may watch Dancing With the Stars under the provision that Maria remain in the competition and that you fast-forward through all parts of the show not containing Maria in her little dance costumes. For those watching live, checking sports scores on your mobile device during non-Maria times will also be acceptable. Enjoy.