Once a year, The Man calls me into his office and says, 'Hey, dumbass, why do you think you deserve a raise this year?' Of course, I always respond with the fact that the minimum wage laws have changed once again and he's legally obligated to bump my paycheck from embarrassing to just humiliating. But this past year, there was no such change in the law so I was stuck to come up with something on my own accord, some really big reason why I'd be earning my handful of shekels increase in the fruits of my labor. So this year I said, 'Because I ask the tough questions.'
There's no shying from controversy here. Somebody has to go out on that limb to snatch that frightened pussy. Something like that. So, today, I ask, is it possible that new weekend Extra correspondent, Down Under hottie Renee Bargh is hotter than Maria Menounos. I know, I know, there's a pitchfork mob gathering at the base our penthouse offices as we speak. But somebody has to push the envelope, whatever that means.