I will freely admit, our powers of prognostication, as highly touted as they are (you know, despite picking both losers in this weekend's NFL championship games) never saw the divorce of Heidi Klum and Seal coming. It wasn't that long ago she was getting all kinds of nekkid in music videos where the hideous Seal was wet grooming her lingual style. And, unlike Katy and Russell, who you'd be hard pressed to find a photo of together in the same vicinity in the past year, Heidi and Seal were often snapped together on vacations and family outings.
But, all of that is past tense as of today when I can not, should not, and most definitely will not look part the fact that this uber-hot German minx is back on the market. I think she may have a bushel or two more kids since the last time she was out dating, but, Heidi, let me be the first to tell you, I am great with kids. I mean, I can round them up and lock them in the closet before they know what hit them so that the two of us can get down to some serious rebounding time. It's a critical step in your divorce recovery and I stand completely lubed and ready to take on this assignment. Call me.