Rachel Louise Topless and Shiny Helps Us Play Santa This Christmas (VIDEO)

 

St. Nick can’t read all the letters of all the children of the world, especially when those letters come from grown men with some very grown up requests for Christmas presents, so, he shifts a few off to Egotastic! for response. This is a Yuletide true fact.

So, we get Christmas letters, and we usually just dismiss them, because, you know, they’re mostly written in smudged pencil with a state prison return address and contain lots of disturbingly drawn graphics. But, occasionally, we do get a letter that touches us deeply, moves us to our core, and reminds us of our responsibility to Santa.

Dear Egotastic, 

All I want for Christmas is two hot oiled down funbags baking in the sun to cure me of this miserable holiday time blues — Bob.

Jesus, Bob, you are a poet. How can we resist. We had to dig hard, but when in doubt, we turn to our friends at EliteTV and their Britty gritty hottie glamour models, among whose ranks the deliciously sextastic Rachel Louise struts her stuff for the cameras, sun shining, baby oil flowing (which, for the record, most dermatologists do not condone) and helping Santa-tastic deliver on his promises. Enjoy.

(P.S., Yep, it’s too late to send in any more Christmas requests.)