Ignoring for the moment the fact that the newly single Eva Longoria is already boffing Penelope Cruz’s younger brother, and ignore it we shall, we just can’t stop our little stalking affair with the super hot 30-’something Desperate Housewives actress who blows our lower body minds even when she’s not trying. We spotted Eva leaving her Beverly Hills hair salon, trying to hide her face as the celebs often do when leaving the salon, sort of like guys caught leaving a strip club, though not sure why the ladies feel the same. We just wanted to stop her and ask her to autograph our bodies in some of the more sensitive parts, but we were cut-off by distance and the questionable etiquette involved in asking a woman to sign your taint with a Magic Marker. So many rules. Enjoy.