Pardon me if we didn’t sleep much last night, or, at all, but the annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is sort of like our Easter mixed with Christmas mixed with the day the ATM machine accidentally slips us an extra twenty by mistake. It’s a great day, evening, overnight. No, not because Kanye West and Jay-Z really broke it down during the Fashion Show performance, or because Nicki Minaj kept her stage dildo at home, but because of the massive mass of super hot lingerie supermodels called in from around the world to prance and dance and strut the runway at lingerie’s largest annual celebration.
Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Miranda Kerr, Erin Heatherson, Candice Swanepoel, Doutzen Kroes, Izabel Goulart, and Lily Aldridge all in the same room half-dressed at the same time? Lay out the scrubbable rubber mats if you wish to save yourself some cleaning costs (hey, we’re brutally honest here). I have no idea what the actual new styles are for the new season, but I do know that you ought take your time going through this bevy of magnificently hot women before, during, and after the big show to get your V.S. mojo working. I mean, don’t get so carried away that you end up buying your girl some pair of tawdry crotchless panties (rookie move) or that you start calling her Candice at the inappropriate moment, but most definitely, do enjoy.