Justin Bieber Ruins Everything, Chapter 34: The Selena Gomez Pictures from Rio

Literally we just looked through hundreds of photos of our favorite hottie little teen diva, Selena Gomez, down in Rio, looking all kinds of wonderful, and could barely find a single picture of the sweetheart sexy-tart without the goofed-up, swagger-trained, mug of The Devil’s Midget plied right at her hip, like a chihuahua, or, in Justin Bieber’s case, a miniature chihuahua.

How come we can send a man to the moon or invent a microchip that performs a billion calculations per second, but we can’t find a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean to drop Justin Bieber on? We need to start examining our priorities.

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