Jennifer Lopez Reunites With Marc Anthony for Vacation Weekend

I remember breaking up with an old girlfriend (or, perhaps, it was the other way around) but we still had these tickets to visit friends out by the beach for their annual shindig we both loved so we both decided to go even after the breakup, and, as you can imagine, it was awkward, and strange, and uncomfortable, and after some drinks and whatnot, of course, it led to lots of lots of making of the sexy. Unfortunately, I don't mean with me, I mean, that heartless ex she-banged some dude with a ponytail and a charm bracelet the entire weekend while I sat roasting my weiner on a dying fire and cried as Journey's Escape album played on a boombox on the deck. The Law of Unintended Consequences can be a bitch.

So, I so strongly advised Jennifer Lopez this past weekend not to get back together with soon to be ex-husband, the weirdly anorexic Marc Anthony, even if it was for the benefit of their twin prodigy, and even if for just a weekend. With Hollywood rumors that the sickly looking Anthony was knocking boots with Jada Pinkett Smith, and confirmed rumors that I've been fantasizing about Jennifer Lopez booty being the snare drum for my music-stick about thrice nightly, this vacation weekend could only spell trouble. We shall see.

(For the record, we love the record, Marc Anthony is denying dipping his skinny pencil in the wife of Will Smith; FULL STORY)