Monica Bellucci Will Never Not Be Ridiculously Sexy (She Can't Help It)

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As I was spending the past three hours or so leering at every detail of Monica Bellucci in the August edition of ParisMatch magazine, well, after wiping away the tears of wanton desire, it struck me that Monica Bellucci has been outrageously hot for as long as I've been noticing women, or since I was in diapers, or, you know, since middle school. The point is, I don't think Monica Bellucci actually has the ability to ever not look hot. She's like a finely bred racehorse, or a premiere sportscar, or a plate of Poutine in a Montreal bar after you've been drinking all night, she's just sensory perfection. 46 and perfection, I might add. Enjoy.

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