The Egotastic! campaign to free Kendall Jenner from the commercial clutches of Kris Jenner and the Kardashian mafia hit a snag this past week as our plans to liberate the taller prettier thinner Kardashian offspring from her summer cheerleading camp was thwarted by the presence of numerous family minders and watchers. Imagine my own surprise when I crawled for hours on the floor, camouflaged beneath endless rows of teen cheerleaders trying to identify Kendall ever so discreetly, only to be denied the liberation of our charities’ sole purpose. Well, that was a mission I won’t soon forget or stop pervertedly smiling about.
Blast you, Kris Jenner, you may have won the battle, but the war rages on (I mean, carries on, ‘rages on’ might seem inappropriate when discussing a high school cheerleader). Enjoy.