Lindsay Lohan Survives Brutal Luxury Beach House Arrest; Celebrates by Getting Blotto

You know when you finally get released from lockdown in your million dollar beach condo, you’re gonna want to taste freedom, and taste it hard. As Lindsay Lohan did after her probationary house arrest of one month, hitting the Lexington Social Club but hard and fast and kept it coming til the pink elephants started dancing. Is it possible that Lindsay’s problem is not one of grand theft, but of substance abuse? Oh, perhaps. But while society tries to figure out a solution to that problem, Lindsay will abide, in a black trenchcoat, two-fisting Appletinis. Enjoy.

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