Okay, though a licensed judge of the boobtastic, I am almost forced to recuse myself from the case of Kate Upton and the spectacular jugtacular. I mean, how is one drooling man to bear objective witness to the jiggling and wiggling sensational display put on by this stunning and fast-rising blonde model superstar? I don't want to come to my senses, I want to live in a world where the song, 'The Candy Man Can; plays on endless loop while Kate Upton's thunder pillows hypnotize me into a state of catatonic bliss. Wowzer. I've always wondered how dudes attend these fashion shows and sit in the front row with a straight face, let alone without a program opened discreetly over their midsections. I've never rushed a stage in my life (Boyz II Men '97 summer concert series excluded) but I think security would need to be called quickly were my two feet unshackled and my two hands unrestrained within live eyesight of the bodaciously bouncy Kate Upton. Enjoy.