So, maybe we’ve never owned a new car. Maybe we’ve never been the first ship into a virgin port of entry. We’ve never discovered an undiscovered desert island and been the first man to ever drop a deuce on its unsoiled soils. But, today, we have a brand spanking new Egotastic! I’m so happy I could wet myself all over again.
Okay, it is the same old Egotastic! Featuring the sexiest side of celebrity gossip and all things guys (and, oh, yes, we see you females ogling females) lust and appropriately desire. Let others spend their days denying nature’s call, we’re in this to serve the dudes who understand that it’s okay to think like a dude. Men do think differently, and it will be my sacred honor to, um, honor that even more as we go forward.
Look, I had to donate a boatload of bodily fluids to pay for this fancy new machine, so have fun. We got easy to flip-through galleries, modules that feature our top posts for your easy reference, search tools that search by all your favorite keywords, and a nav bar for top level sorting of content. Very soon, we’ll be populating the site with increased functionality, including interactive features such as polls, a simple to use contact form, and more advanced video players. Also, the site itself will be optimized for mobile viewing on your PDA, so celebrities can actually be viewing Egotastic! on their cellphones while drunk and taking photos of themselves nekkid!
Oh, yeah, did you notice the ‘All-Stars’ header? That’s our new name for all your NSFW content needs. When you see ‘All-Stars’ be prepared to see (and remove) stars for sexy celebrity body part wonderment. You can even use the nav bar to select just ‘All-Star’ posts, you know, if you’re in for a fun evening.
Be aware, that despite all the hours spent on this upgrade and re-design by our dedicated team of super smart middle school-aged programmers locked in our Mumbai basement, there are going to be some bugs and glitches to work out over the next few days and weeks. If you see the occasional error or wonky bit, just bear with us, we just need to switch from carrot to stick in our blog ops war-room. It’s amazing how hard a kid will work after missing a few meals.
Shit, I’m excited. I hope you are too. Enjoy.
(P.S. Thanks to all who are writing in. We are definitely still working out kinks and also taking your suggestions for further improvement to the site. There will be continued upgrades going on, so please continue with your feedback, albeit, no possible way we can cover all your suggestions since, contrary to popular opinion, my enormous bobo sack is not filled with gold.)